Tiger Woods is currently waging a war of attrition against cops and media folk trying to get to the bottom of the Case of the Pro Golfer and the Tree of Doom. This is a dumb strategy.
Today, the main Woods development was that there were no developments. Police produced an unrevealing 911 tape, while Woods released a tell-nothing statement on his website in which he accepted all responsibility for Thursday night's crash and begged for privacy:
This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
Meanwhile, Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren, continue hiding out and brushing off cops who seem far too willing to take "no" for an answer. On Friday, the Florida Highway Patrol tried to interview Woods, but his wife answered the door and told them he was "sleeping," according to the Washington Post. Which, you would think, what with all the speculation about Nordegen attacking Tiger with a golf club before the crash, the cops might want to make sure Tiger wasn't "sleeping the big sleep" courtesy of a frying pan to the dome? On Saturday, the unhappy couple told cops to come back Sunday. Today, police were told Tiger was "unavailable for an interview." (No word on whether this was said with an evil gleam in the eyes, followed by a devious cackle. This would be a worrying development.)
It seems like Tiger thinks that if he cloisters himself in his mansion without speaking to police or media this whole thing will blow over. The irony of this PR strategy is that the gatecrashing Salahis have been doing the same thing for exactly the opposite reason. (They successfully avoided Secret Service for two days before being interviewed Friday. They still haven't talked to the media.) The Salahis know that an information blackout will only ratchet up the speculation and rumor-mongering—that not talking to police is the ultimate signal that "something weird is going on." The Salahis have a stake in increasing the obfuscation—and, thus, the payout for their first interview. The only way Tiger's strategy make sense is if he comes out tomorrow demanding $500,000 from NBC for an interview about the crash and a spot on "The Real Housewives of Orange County, Florida." Who knows—weirder things happened last week alone.
(Photo of crash scene courtesy of TMZ)