If Bravo Doesn't Put Michaele Salahi on Real Housewives of D.C., We're BoycottingS

Forget the sanctimonious tsk-tsking about fame-whoring: Michaele and Tareq Salahi's party crashing scandal is the best thing to happen to the Real Housewives since some crazy New Jersey bitch flipped a table.

When the news broke that this pair of party crashers who let themselves in to a White House state dinner last week were trying to get on the upcoming Real Housewives of D.C., the idea made complete sense. A rep from Bravo told Variety, "The decision as to who will be included in the series will not be made for several months. We are continuing with the production of the show. However, specifics with respect to the Salahis are yet to be determined."

Now that the thought has been floated (and there's a contract already in place), it has to happen, and here are all the reasons why.

  • Publicity: Even if the couple goes to jail for defrauding the secret service, it would be worth it to Bravo to pay their legal bills to have them on the show. All of the Real Housewives' public appearances and personal scandals help get viewers to the show, but no one has yet pulled off a feat like this. These two have hijacked the national conversation and gotten the as-yet-unproduced show priceless advanced buzz. They already have plenty of news footage of these two attending the dinner. Just add in some interviews and you have a blockbuster of a premiere episode that scores of curious people will tune into.

  • This Is the Mother of All Housewives Stunts: Yes, Teresa in New Jersey flipped a table while screaming "prostitution whore." Bethenny and Kelly had a bitter feud in New York. Sheree pulled of Kim's wig in Atlanta, and Kim came back to pop culture with an amazingly bad/catchy single "Tardy for the Party." None of these people ever broke the fucking law! As far as bad taste crazy behavior goes, these two have already perfected the art.

  • They Fit the Bill: Michaele and Tareq (see, they have exotic, reality TV show names that do not exist in nature—at least for white folks) are dubiously-employed, conventionally-attractive and willing to do anything to be famous. If they aren't crafting their lives after stereotypes from the Bravo show, then they are organically the perfect specimens for this type of reality television. They are like Alex and Simon from New York writ large—reaching to be Ritzy upper crust while on a Saltine budget. They're even pretentiously into polo for fuck's sake. Nothing smacks of "trying to look richer than we are" than polo!

  • We Wouldn't Watch Otherwise: Orange County has the original shallow Housewives, New York has the craven social climbers, Atlanta has African-American ladies, and New Jersey has guido pseudo-mafia wives. What does D.C. have? The bland partners of Republican lobbyists? The Second Assistant Secretary of the Census who is a lady and happens to like high heels? D.C. is boring and full of bland, boring people. We don't want to sit around and giggle at Kitty because her husband couldn't get an amendment into House Bill 4763. The Salahis are some serious reality TV show ballers who are willing to go to jail to get attention. That is some shit we want to see.

  • Politics Needs Them: This thing is creating national news and getting politics in tabloid culture in a way that hasn't happened since Levi Johnston stripped off almost all his clothes (yes, we're still bitter there was no peen) for Playgirl. If you want people to care about what happens in Washington it isn't going to be by explaining the "public option" during the State of the Union. It's going to be by having craven attention seekers crashing your parties. Come on, D.C. Show us the old razzle dazzle!