Marilyn Monroe 'Smokes Pot' in Home Video, But It Looks More Like a Cigarette

An old lady has unearthed a home video she says depicts the original bombshell blazing with some girlfriends. It's most definitely Marilyn, and they're definitely smoking, but is it really pot?

The little old lady who shot the home movie "had it up in my attic all this time," and is now putting it up for auction. She says she rolled the joint for Marilyn, but that Marilyn didn't really get high:

"It was all real casual, it was just friends hanging out," she said. "She was the same [after smoking]—a little giggly."

She does, however, manage to wrap her whole mouth around the cigarette, revealing herself as belonging to a universally reviled class of smokers, the filter-lickers. There is nothing grosser than putting a mushy, wet roll-up in your mouth because someone insisted on making out with it instead of just inhaling.

Bolstering the little old lady's credibility is the fact that she held on the video for so long, meaning she probably isn't very greedy. But then, we don't know who she is. Maybe some terrible fate has befallen her, like her family is being held for ransom, or she has crazy poker debts, or she used her Medicare benefits up early this year, or she's gone a bit dotty.

Nonetheless, there's something appropriate about a video of Marilyn Monroe using drugs surfacing now, when a flock of Marilyn-worshipping floozies flip around Hollywood, leaving scandalous videos everywhere they go. So, pot or not, may the world raise a pipe to you, Marilyn, the original romantic trainwreck caught on film.