Live Blogging Top Chef, Week 13

It's Top Chef penultimate episode time, which means we decamp to a new locale. So we're leaving Las Vegas and its lights so bright, palm sweat, and blackjack on a Saturday night. And good riddance, Palm Sweat City!

Unfortunately, the show's new destination, Napa Valley, probably has its own icky things lurking—such as douche-tastic chef Michael Chiarello, who I'm guessing will show up at some point. After all, you can't swing a dead cat in Napa Valley, it seems, without hitting that guy and his BuyMyNapaCrap.com site. But that's OK, because I can bravely face any icky thing in the entertaining company of the Gawker live-blogging crew. Why not join us? The live blog happens in the comments section below, and the episode starts at 10 pm on Bravo.

It's been two weeks since the last one, because Bravo's programming wizards chose not to air an original episode last Wednesday. Which is only natural, because Thanksgiving Season is no time to be scheduling food-themed programming. That would be crazy! So we'll have to think back a whole 14 days to recall the many highlights of our last live blog, including these:

  • We devoted a 20-plus-comment thread to the subject of "our favorite cheeses." Apparently, many of us are bigger cheese fans than Wallace & Grommit. (I must admit that I was alarmed by Terrafractal's favorite—"chihuahua cheese"—until I did a little googling and learned that it isn't actually made out of chihuahuahs.)
  • We saw a few blurry scenes from the Bocuse d'Or, which appears to be the most crappily filmed "elite competition" of all time.
  • Smirky Jen smirkily told us that she would "make Turducken." But just a lie … a smirky, smirky lie.
  • During the elimination challenge, BxgrlJeri accurately observed: "Eli is cooked, unlike his lamb."

Ah yes, what a time it was, that Wednesday evening of a fortnight past! As is my wont, I've compiled a selection of my favorite comments from it in a post that's linked right here. I've also watched couple of preview clips of the upcoming episode, and having done so, I suggest we watch for following things to happen tonight:

  • Kevin will sport more of that new "Sienfeld low-flow showerhead" hairstyle we caught a few glimpses of last week.
  • The chefs will all cook aboard a train bound for a vineyard, because … ah, who the hell knows?
  • One chef will be eliminated at the end, just like in any other episode. Because these "finale, part 1" episodes are always just a regular episodes in disguise. But that's OK. At least it got us the hell out of Vegas.

So as Sheryl Crow once sang, let's pour a drink, pull the blind and wonder what we'll find. In my case, I hope what I find will be the TV remote. I've been looking everywhere for that damn thing.