The Path From Failed Farmer to Harvard Lawyer Just Got More Perilous

The Way We Live Now: Not how a respectable attorney should, that's for sure. Things are so bad that students at Harvard Law School have to pay tuition now. Do you know how hard that is on a trend-farmer's wage?

Used to be that Harvard Law would "waive tuition for third-year students who pledge to spend five years working for nonprofit organizations or for the government," so it was like, hey, perfect, free supply of attorneys for the CIA! But now they've suspended that program just because their endowment lost billions and billions and billions of dollars.

The rule of law is gone now. And how are future generations of corporate litigators to pay? Let's say, for example, you're the average American today: A suburbanite who moved out to some godforsaken farmland in search of a mythical pure rural life living off the land. What would you do when that Harvard bill came? First you'd have to learn how to farm, cause let's be honest, you know nothing about food except how to order from Sonic!, which is simply to quote those funny commercials directly into the drive-thru mouthpiece, and the people know what you want.

Next you'd have to somehow translate that "food" you grew into money. Which is not that easy now that the entire US restaurant industry is back on the barter system. The average tip for a working waitress is now an "IOU one free car wash" certificate, drawn by hand on a tablecloth. And deli owners have been reduced to giving away bread for free to robbers and hoping that one day years later the robber repays them with interest to salve his guilty soul.

Bottom line, let's all feel sorry for Harvard Law students.
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