Palin Becomes a Birther as Revenge Unto Those Who Doubted TrigS

In a radio interview, Palin endorsed those who question Obama's national origin. Her rationale? "That weird conspiracy freak thing that Trig isn't my real son." Those jerks wanted to see Trig's birth certificate—now she must see Obama's.

Conservative radio host Rusty Humphries asked Palin whether she'd "make the birth certificate an issue" if she runs for president in 2012. Oh no, she wouldn't have to "bother to make it an issue," because the valiant tea partiers of America are doing it for her—and "rightfully" so!

We've come to expect no better from Le Rogue, but for old time's sake, let's parse the levels of insanity:

  • 1. Prima facie: She is encouraging birthers. This is a low even Palin has avoided stooping to until now.

  • 2. She is encouraging birthers, despite knowing that they are wrong. Listen to the way Palin stalls and diverts, starting with a protracted "Umm... I think..." She is careful to point to the public's fascination with the story, and to note that she herself couldn't care less, but supports their efforts. She sounds like an adult child placating her senile mother: Of course you get can your driver's license back, even though you crashed into a tree. Many people get their driver's licenses back, and I will certainly help you try. She knows the birthers are wrong, yet she congratulates their efforts and calls Obama's nationality "fair game." This is pandering in its barest, most transparent form, and the fact that Sarah thinks she can get away with it testifies to how stupid, directionless, and desperate she knows her followers are.

  • 3. If she were capable of higher levels of thinking—like extrapolation or synthesis or this very complicated intellectual maneuver known as if/then logic—she'd recognize that if it was a "weird conspiracy freak thing" to demand Trig's birth certificate, then it is a "weird conspiracy freak thing" to demand Obama's, too. (I can't believe I'm even typing this out. This must be the phenomenon known as "stupefying.") So either Palin is stuck at the bottom level of the below brain-use pyramid, or she and her followers are "weird conspiracy freaks."

  • Palin Becomes a Birther as Revenge Unto Those Who Doubted TrigS

    4. Just because a bunch of loons went "grassy knoll" on Trig doesn't give her the right to use their frightful logic to impugn Obama. In fact, Obama stood up for Sarah and her family and told everyone to back off the birth-related gossip.

    In conclusion, I blame the entire fiasco that is Sarah Palin on the Miss Alaska pageant. If they'd just let her win all those years ago, maybe she could have used it to earn the fame and fortune she so desperately craves, and she'd never have felt compelled to go into politics, and wouldn't be terrorizing America to the tune of "Sarah, Queen of the Wild Frontier" (which Humphries opened the segment with) right now.