Andrew Parker: Socialite, Boutique Owner, Alleged Thief and Pornographer

Parker, pictured with a mystery woman from his Facebook profile, ran a Madison Avenue accessories boutique, between socialite-ing. He was arrested for allegedly using stolen credit cards for designer purchases. He also funded a porn film called Trust Fund Sluts!

Actually his mother funded the movie — he paid for it on his own credit card and she had to settle the bills. That's the least of his worries though, report Page Six. Parker was arrested twice for grand larceny and multiple counts of ID theft — he's accused of pilfering credit cards to buy essentials like a $11,000 Hermes Birkin bag. Which he probably required because:

Mop-topped Parker, 40, is a regular on the social scene, attending soirees for Bulgari, Chanel, Vogue, Christie's and Vanity Fair and mugging for pictures with socialites like Emily Brill, Christina Oxenberg and Bettina Zhilka. His eclectic accessories store, A.S. Parker, counted Matthew Modine, Muffy Potter-Aston and Fabian Basabe among its loyal clientele.

Has there ever been a poor person called Muffy? Anyway. He's done this kind of thing before, allegedly running up $4000 at a boutique earlier this year. Police also recovered five forged Citibank credit cards. His store is, unsurprisingly, closed. Where are people going to get their "Kelly green alligator-skin women's loafers." Will someone please think of the children?