Remember how the Post used to tease the Daily News with billboards, but now their mogul owners have instituted a "no criticizing the other guy" policy at both New York tabloids? German newspaper wars are way, way better.
First of all, they are all about what would be considered ancient history here in the US, and they are also grandly important ideological conflicts between establishment right and revolutionary left. But more importantly, they involve giant penises on the sides of buildings.
Taz is a tiny but historically important leftist newspaper. Bild is the biggest newspaper in Germany. In 2002, Taz "reported" in its Satire column that Kai Diekmann, the right-wing editor of Bild, had gone in for penis enlargement surgery in Miami, "but the operation went badly, and it resulted in the castration of the patient." Funny! Then Diekmann sued them for libel, and lost. So to celebrate, Taz commissioned an artist to install a sculpture of Diekmann, naked, with a six-meter-long penis, on the side of their building, which is across the street from Bild's building.
But some people found this sculpture to be in poor taste! Some people like the new managing editor of Taz. But she cannot have it removed, because the leftist newspaper makes decisions based on direct democracy, and no one can agree on what to do about the giant penis on their building.
But there are suggestions!
After the meeting, Pohl is standing in the cafeteria. She is wearing a green parka and her eyes seem glazed over. She shrugs her shoulders. One staff member, she says, suggested installing a fountain into the tip of the penis, but that isn't an option.
Well, why not?