Outrage-Off, Tiger Woods Edition: Rush Limbaugh vs. Eugene Robinson

As if a Muslim president wasn't bad enough, now we have a Cablinasian golfer trying steal the white man's women. It's outrageous. The only solution is outrageously stupid pundit statements. Today: Rush Limbaugh vs. Eugene Robinson. Vote below!

Contestant #1: Media Matters' daily words of wisdom from Rush Limbaugh, black American icon:

"The black frame of mind is terrible...I'm sure Tiger Woods' choice of females not helping 'em out with their attitudes there, either."

You always come through for us, Rush, you racist fuck. Contestant #2: WaPo columnist Eugene Robinson, who is upset that Tiger Woods didn't fuck a more diverse cast of ladies, among his various cocktail waitresses. Never let it be said we don't include liberals here.

Here's my real question, though: What's with the whole Barbie thing?

No offense to anyone who actually looks like Barbie, but it really is striking how much the women who've been linked to Woods resemble one another. I'm talking about the long hair, the specific body type, even the facial features. Mattel could sue for trademark infringement...

But the world is full of beautiful women of all colors, shapes and sizes — some with short hair or almond eyes, some with broad noses, some with yellow or brown skin. Woods appears to have bought into an "official" standard of beauty that is so conventional as to be almost oppressive.

His taste in mistresses leaves the impression of a man who is, deep down, both insecure and image-conscious — a control freak even when he's committing "transgressions."

If only Tiger had fucked a Vegas groupie with almond eyes, we wouldn't have these racial problems today. Vote for your favorite below! [Pic: Getty]