Did Nicole Richie just call fracking Big Bird a "has been?" Yes, yes she did. But at least the reality TV starlet offered to basically hook BB up with a three-way, or drugs, or whatever, while she was at it.
A low-income donut worker trying to eat healthy played a starring role in Debbie Gibsons' personal irony opera.
Philip "Fuckedcompany" Kaplan is starting to feel self-conscious about his oral fixation.
The New Yorker's Susan Orlean is, presumably, frantically adding books on nirvana and emotional euphoria to her Amazon wish list. The war histories are right out.