If you were weirded out by Bob Dylan's Christmas album, avert your ears: Senator Orrin Hatch, a Mormon Republican from Utah, has given Jews a "gift" by writing them a Hanukkah song. What is Yiddish for: "Jesus fucking Christ"?
(Via Tablet Magazine)
Here are some lyrics:
Hanukkah oh Hanukkah the festival of light
in Jerusalem the oil burned bright
They lit the Menorah, in the holy place
What a miracle to last eight days
Come on, that last thing doesn't even rhyme! The kicker, though is the chorus:
8 days of Hanukkah
Come let's celebrate
8 Days of Hanukkah
Let's celebrate tonight
This is exactly what the Maccabees had in mind when they defeated the Greeks.
According to the Times, Hatch wrote the song at the request of Atlantic writer
Jeffery Jeffrey (thanks for the correction, Jeff!) Goldberg, as a gift to the Jews. So we blame you, Jeffrey, for ruining an already kind of lame holiday (as every Jew knows, Passover is where it is really at.) Though it doesn't show, Hatch is apparently a prolific songwriter, penning such patriotic classics as "Heal Our Land," which was performed at Bush's 2005 inauguration. Which, OK, they deserved it.
But haven't the Jews suffered enough?