Everybody, gather round for the Jews vs. Hipsters fight! Williamsburg's most loathed subcultures in bike lane battle! Black hat vigilantes stalk sexxxy two-wheeled postgrads! Hero hipsters martyred for commuter ease—media swarms!
Objectively speaking, some 24 year-olds repainting bike lanes on the street ranks in the bottom 10% of New York crime stories on any given day. But since they are HIPSTERS who love to ride bikes battling THE JEWS who hate hipsters and their immodest bike-riding attire, there in Williamsburg, in a sexxxy culture clash, well then. Two bike lane repainters got arrested and now the cultural martyrdom grows deeper:
"We're self-hating Jewish hipsters," Hechtropf joked last night as the two walked out of the 90th Precinct with desk-appearance tickets.
"They handcuffed us," Piccochi complained.
The Post gets a culture clash angle and a hipster entitlement angle all in two short quotes! In all seriousness, hearing every "square" news outlet saying "hipster" as they report this story really hammers home the point of how annoying it probably is when we say "hipster," all the time. You have our apologies.