From sports drinks to action figures, Tiger was once an industry unto himself. The Tiger Woods economy may have crashed, but in its place we now have the Tiger's woodies economy, repackaging and selling the women who turned him on.

Much like energy, celebrity can neither be created nor destroyed, but is instead transferred and transformed. In the case of sex scandal, fame transforms to infamy and disperses among participants. Now that Playboy and Vivid Entertainment have entered the Tigers' woodies-wooing field, each Tiger lover is poised to become a Tiger spin-off brand of her own. Let's see how the notables are doing, and where the Tiger's fame and fortune diaspora is headed next:

How Tiger Woods' Mistresses Will Save the Economy with Porn and Tabloid ExclusivesS

Rachel Uchitel As mistress #1 and Tiger's right-hand woman, fixer, and madam, Uchitel is poised to siphon the greatest portion of Tiger's expended celebrity and fortune. Extra reports she's currently negotiating a photo spread with Playboy, and "wants a lot of money," while earlier reports had Tiger paying her $1M to keep her yap shut. She denied boning him in her OK magazine exclusive (which, by the way, she probably also received money for, if only "for the photo shoot") which means she might figured out a way to take Tiger's money and the tabs'.

How Tiger Woods' Mistresses Will Save the Economy with Porn and Tabloid Exclusives

Jaimee Grubbs Mistress #2 took the easy money and ran, with early sales of text messages and her infamous voicemail. An aspiring fameball and former reality show contestant, now she's happily rubbing shoulders with real stars. Jaimee probably parlay her Tiger fame back into reality television, but failing that, she'd be a candidate for laddie mags and skin flicks, if the price and PR are right.


Holly Sampson Mistresses already working in the sex and porn industries have a leg up on cashing in. Sampson appears to have a foot in each industry: TMZ and HuffPo say that, in addition to her bondage/fetish/erotica/porn career, Sampson moonlighted as a call girl. In both industries, her asking price is poised to go up. She's also a prime candidate for Vivid Entertainment's standing offer of $1M for any mistress willing to show the world what they did with Tiger, on film—Sampson is already the star of two Vivid titles, although it was in a web extra for Naughty America (seen here) where she first admitted to hitting it with Tiger.

How Tiger Woods' Mistresses Will Save the Economy with Porn and Tabloid Exclusives


Jamie Jungers The cocktail waitress and rumored Tiger-financed lipo recipient is another alleged call girl, which means she's been making money off rich guy's libidos for years. She'll be embracing her status as a Tiger mistress on today's Today Show, where she'll probably signal whether her next step is reality television, adult entertainment, or increasingly pathetic interviews until the well runs dry.


Joslyn James (née Veronica Siwik-Daniels) is one to watch. So far, Tiger's rumored "real" girlfriend has kept mostly silent. She does, however, have a wide-ranging career in the adult entertainment industry (Big Breasted Nurses and M.I.A.: MILFs In Action, tally-ho!), so she may take Vivid up on the $1M offer. On the other hand, her silence may suggest actual loyalty to Tiger—or that his money got to her before Vivid's could.

How Tiger Woods' Mistresses Will Save the Economy with Porn and Tabloid Exclusives


Kalika Moquin has so far kept quiet. Described as "all business" in the high-end hostess biz, she'll probably invest her piece of the Tiger pie back into her business. By staying silent she'll proved her discretion, sharpening her reputation as a reliable nightlife liaison.

How Tiger Woods' Mistresses Will Save the Economy with Porn and Tabloid ExclusivesS

Porn Industry In addition to the inevitable mistress-starring skin flick Vivid will make, a thousand Tiger-themed fantasy movies are about to hit the wankosphere, including Tiger's Wood, the saga's first "porn parody," featuring Kayden Kross as "porn-Elin" (according to a tweet) and Tyler Knight as "Tiger Woods, bitches" (according to his blog).

How Tiger Woods' Mistresses Will Save the Economy with Porn and Tabloid Exclusives

Elin Nordegren How Tiger's long-suffering wife deals with the fiasco is anyone's guess. My hope: Divorce, big fat alimony, tell-all memoir, live like a queen, perhaps in Sweden. One carefully thought-out "I've still got it" photo shoot a few months from now, and it'd be a slam dunk.