'This Is the Crusade': Leaked Scientology Video Features the Voice of Bart Simpson

That voice comes in the shape of actor Nancy Cartwright who is among other more minor celebrities. The leaked video is about raising money to build Scientology churches and convert as many people as possible. And is genuinely disconcerting.

The worst thing about the video (which comes via a website called Media Elites) is the forced casualness — the rictus grins, awkward deliberate ethnic diversity and 'hip' Scientologists that appear using phrases like "a building that we all dig on." Actually, scratch that, the worst thing is the fact that this is an avowed attempt to spread Scientology to every neighborhood and get as many converts as possible.

"Fill the building with public," says one super-intense pseudo Jason Schwartzman at around two minutes. "Boom it and start disseminating and getting Scientology on every com line in that community. Then actually clear that community." Com line presumably means communication line, 'clear' refers to a Scientology phrase — normal, non-cult people are 'pre-clears,' only when you join the church do you begin the process of being 'cleared.'

Cartwright appears at about a minute in to tell us that whoever is brought to one of these new orgs will "get something that's going to change his life forever." Indeed:

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