'Why Is Tiger's Wife Trying to Ruin Golf?' Wonders Typical Golf Fan

Today's big news about Tiger Woods, besides 14 new hookers coming forward: His wife wants him to quit golf! According to a probably made-up UK tabloid story. But it raises the larger point: Why is golf so sexist? And dumb?

The Sun reports, based on an anonymous source: Tiger's harpie shrew wife wants him to stop doing what he loves. And we don't mean "fucking hostesses," heh:

But she has given him the stark ultimatum: "It's golf... or me."...

And the beauty, who would pocket up to $100million if she walks away, is insisting he puts their marriage and two kids before his golf career.

Now! The typical golf fan (male, 30-70, upper middle class, white bread, boring prick) will react to this news by nodding and exclaiming, "Women! Always trying to get their men to stop playing golf. And now they're doing it to the best golfer in the world." This also subtly shifts the burden of public moral judgment off Tiger and his personal life, and onto his wife and her effect on his professional life.

Whereas the proper reaction is probably, "The Sun just makes shit up all the time." And, "Perhaps he shouldn't have screwed those last dozen loose women so openly." Etc.

So in this case we see that the natural, ingrained sexism of the typical golf fan has actually assisted the tabloid media in its freewheeling coverage of a sex scandal. A natural "Hole in two," you might say! Take golf fans' wives, please!