We get some decent Stalker Sightings on the weekends, even with our spies hard at work brunching and shopping and, really, probably reporting these drunk. Yet some are especially concise, astute, catty, or somehow otherwise spectacular. Like this one.

Setting: I was shopping at What Goes Around Comes Around on West Broadway yesterday.

Context: WGACA is really, really spendy shopping. They sell plenty of +$200 restored concert shirts and, basically, is kinda like John Varvatos for uber-hip trust funders who spend most of their days coming down from something (or trying to get up on it). Just look. 90% of the population is not "cool" or rich enough to shop here.

Sighting: Mischa Barton was there with her little dog acting dumb.

Wait, her, or the dog? Fair question. Also: doing what, exactly? To be fair, tipster, shopping at WGACA is an inherently "dumb" enterprise unless your career/bank account is on the up-and-up, so if you're referring to Ms. Barton's foreseeable lack of fiscal solvency, you would be correct. But you're probably just being fantastically catty.

Intel: Mischa is writing her own screen play. [sic] It's going to be a love story, "kind of like Hitch". She promised her friend, who I think works there, that she would cast her. Also, Mischa said that she can't go out in the city anymore because she's getting into trouble. (she's so smart and self-aware!!)

Producers, knock yourselves out. Though in all fairness, acting kinda did seem like something that was making Mischa a wee bit stressed. So maybe writing has some kind of inherently therapeutic potential for her? It'll be the opposite of what everyone else who writes for a living goes through! But we're not laughing at Mischa until she gets edged out of next year's Black List by Sorkin. Freak skills! People have them. For all you know, she's writing the Rashoman of How To Talk to Girls As Hot As Mischa Barton. Intentionally or otherwise.

Conclusion: Also, she looks like a total monster. Too much hairspray.

Jesus. New Yorkers! They've got standards, or spiked heels in their nutrient supplements, or something. My lord. No wonder people hate New Yorkers. We are some catty bitches, yo. But this wouldn't make it in the pantheon of perfect Stalker Sightings if it didn't have that one wonderful, special touch to it:


And that's how it's done. Tipster, we salute and fear you. Stalker sightings can be submitted to stalker@Gawker.com or to the #Stalker hashtag.

[Photo of Mischa Barton in SoHo via Bauer-Griffin/David Krieger, 10/03/2009]