The Fake Scandals That Global Warming Deniers Are Flogging

The Copenhagen summit has brought the global warming debate to a head, and the skeptics have the upper hand because Al Gore made a math error, scientists wrote mean e-mails, icebergs won't destroy Australia, and it's snowing in Copenhagen.

Matt Drudge dug up that last bit of evidence undermining decades of "scientific" research into global climate change. Here are the most powerful arguments being advanced by brave truth-tellers in the face of the global warming hoax:

  • It Snows
    Drudge is a vigilant chronicler of SnowGate—the unfolding scandal presented by the fact of continued snowfall when everybody knows that global warming alarmists premised their arguments on the claim that it will never snow again on planet Earth. But his Copenhagen weather scoop is particularly damaging because not only has he uncovered evidence of snow—he has demonstrated that it is snowing at the precise geographic location where the practitioners of the global warming hoax are now gathered to advance their secret agenda. Since it is unchallenged fact that, as Drudge has previously noted, weather is conjured by God as punishment for abortions, it clearly follows that God has ordered the clouds above Copenhagen to make snow because he hates Al Gore.
  • Al Gore Lies
    Speaking of Al Gore, he got some numbers wrong, which utterly and spectacularly undermines his crazy arguments aimed at saving controlling the planet. Addressing his fellow fanatics in Copenhagen this week, Gore lied that according to "Dr. [Wieslav] Maslowski ... there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during the summer months, could be completely ice-free within five to seven years." This is an utter fabrication. Maslowski said no such thing. Gore simply invented it, like the internet. Maslowski himself, who has determined that there is an 80% chance of the north polar ice cap will be nearly ice-free within five to seven years, has completely disowned Gore's propaganda. The fact that an eminent climate researcher who believes that 80% of the north polar ice-cap will be nearly ice-free within five to seven years has contradicted Gore's claim is another nail in the coffin to the global warming hypothesis.
  • The Fake Scandals That Global Warming Deniers Are FloggingE-mails!
    Speaking of eminent climate researchers, they are all liars because they e-mail mean things to one another, making fun of people who don't believe in their "science." As everybody knows by now, e-mails stolen by climate patriots from the servers of the University of East Anglia, demonstrate that a small group of researchers there—who also happen to be the only climate researchers anywhere, ever, and so represent the totality of all "Warmists"—show them "hiding the decline" in temperatures with statistical "tricks." In other words, according to Sarah Palin, global temperatures are actually going down, but these researchers have subtly altered the data to make everyone, including every other scientist and John McCain, believe the lie that temperatures are increasing.
  • The Fake Scandals That Global Warming Deniers Are FloggingIcebergs Still Exist
    Finally, Australia, a once-proud continent, has been libeled by Warmists who claimed that a giant iceberg was going to destroy it in a deliberate attempt to distract us from ClimateGate during the Copenhagen summit. But they lied! The iceberg will not destroy Australia: In fact, it will break up into smaller icebergs, because the Indian Ocean is not currently frozen and will therefore melt ice. Also, the reason this iceberg exists is that it was one of the massive ice sheets that have collapsed in Antarctica in the last decade. This one fell of that frozen continent in 2000, but, yeah, there's still ice there, so global warming must be a hoax.

In conclusion, the fact that it is currently 50 degrees in New York City is a localized, temporary, one-off temperature fluctuation, and anyone who takes it to undermine the well-established fact that there's no such thing as global warming is an idiot.