Christmas seems to be the sexxxiest time of year! News-wise. It's because reporters—and readers—are even lazier than usual right now. Neither writing nor reacting to sex stories takes much effort at all. Observe:
- A lady in New Mexico got an injury in a car crash that "left her with an insatiable sex drive." Hey, maybe we should go out on a date, lady! Ha.
- NYPD officers were found playing porn in the office. Protect and serve? Protect and perv! Ha.
- New York City wants the public's help to design the new NYC condom wrapper. Watch out, sounds like a job for me! Ha.
- Chinese police arrested more than 3,000 people in an online porn crackdown. Good thing we don't live in China, we too would be under arrest! Ha.
- A British woman was cited for "breaching an anti-social behaviour order by having noisy sex." Tell us about it—we already know about it. First-hand! Ha.
- An Irish company is marketing the first environmentally friendly vibrator. Hey baby, I was born with one of those, inside my pants! Ha.