Conde Nast's beautiful holiday gift this year: a $15 gift card to the Conde Nast cafeteria. Oh, you really shouldn't have!
Conde's 2005 staff present: a nice glass bowl.
Conde's 2006 staff present: a Lambertson Truex bag.
Conde's 2007 staff present: an umbrella.
Conde's 2008 staff present: a lovely Lutz & Patmos scarf, available in grey, beige or navy.
But uh, you couldn't eat any of those, without extensive boiling at least, so...Happy Holidays, Nasties. Your company is well aware that those food stamps don't go as far as they used to.
[Brian Moylan pointed out just this week that gift cards are the lamest office gift ever. Read more closely, Conde.]