Jersey Shore is a good thing. This is a fact. But have they blown their wad with too many TV appearances? Has the situation arisen where The Situation points to his abs and we no longer care? Let's discuss.
We'll be ranking each appearance on a scale of 1-10 in three categories: Content of their appearance, the spontaneity of the appearance, and if we want to change the channel or not. The last will be scored inversely, with 0 being the equivalent of Oprah coming out of the closet on live TV, and 10 being a Carrot Top appearance on Leno. To the clips!
America's first taste of the cast members outside of their natural habitat is at Spike's Video Game Awards. The appearance was short, sweet and weird. Everything is scripted, they each make a quick joke, The Situation points to his abs, and Mike Tyson threatens to beat the shit out of him. Good times.
Channel Changing: 0—It's their first appearance, we are mesmerized.
Next is Snooki's appearance on Wendy Williams. It's not really even an interview, but it is the first non-scripted appearance from a member of the cast. Snooki proves herself to be confident, adorable, and short. An American princess is born.
Channel Changing: 1—Just the visual of Snooki and Wendy standing next to each other is great television.
Snooki and The Situation go on Conan. Everybody is talking about this appearance. Both are charming, witty, and it is a near-perfect segment. Everyone involved seems to genuinely enjoy themselves.
Channel Changing: 0—No friggin' way.
Next up is Kimmel. Snooki, The Situation, and Pauly D perform a scripted rendition of The Story of Christmas. They play the three wise men and make it their own with a little bit of ad-libbing. It's our first foray into their skills as actors. It's also them becoming caricatures of caricatures of themselves.
Channel Changing: 4—We're growing a bit tired. It's still good tv, but their cheeky grins are starting to be a bit grating.
Their penultimate appearance this week is Leno. While Kimmel's bit with them was creative, Leno just has them dance like monkeys by quizzing them. There are a couple good bits in there (Snooki thinking Muammar Gadaffi was Lionel Ritchie), but it all seems scripted. And we don't need Jay to show us they're stupid; we already knew that.
Channel Changing: 6
And finally their appearance on The George Lopez Show. Ending their week with a mighty mighty whimper. Lopez isn't funny, they're not funny. George Lopez will suck the life right out of your television. Their charm has worn off, and they're beginning to repeat stories. The end is nigh.
Channel Changing: We don't even know what channel this is on, so we can't change it.
Overall, they need to calm down a bit. We like them, but we don't need to see them all the time. Once a week is fine for now with a random cameo here and there. And how about some variety in appearances? Ronnie and Sam—we're looking at you.