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"We're Going Home": The problem with needing a "bro" to witness one's hook up is that he is also witness to humiliation. While it is perfectly acceptable to look for a condom and have sex with a girl in front of a friend and her friend, it is not OK to let the girls leave without giving up their delicate ladyflowers.
That is the problem with plying your dates with the magical powers of the Jacuzzi. Once the fumes wear off, the girls are a little muddled and make up stupid excuses to leave immediately, and when one goes, she will drag the other with her. Then both boys know that neither hooked up and are then deemed less virile by their cohorts. It is a sad, sad state of affairs, and one that The Situation and DJ Paulie Disgrace fall into with two girls who they take home.
Also, ladies, the period is a great excuse to keep your virtue intact after bathing in the psychotropic waters of the Jacuzzi. Like "puke breath" and most other bodily functions, the guidos are deathly afraid of menstrual blood. Using Aunt Flo as an excuse will not get them off you of your good, it will keep them from trying to put their pierced penis into your delicate parts.
While these girls go home to avoid being taken advantage of, Snooki gets so drunk that she can't even find her home. That means she has no excuse not to hook up with a man she is not attracted to. Since she can't get back to the house, they decide to sleep on the beach, which would be romantic if it weren't for all that sand and being awoken by a trash trailer combing the sand at dawn. Nothing says classy like getting so wasted you don't remember your address.
