Snooki did an interview with deplorable New Jersey nightlife rag Steppin' Out. Is this the worst union of trashy cool and trashy horrible or is it a marriage made in heaven? Either way, she has some crazy shit to say.
Steppin' Out is run by dirtbag Chaunce Hayden who, when he isn't making up fake gossip is busy personifying every horrible Oakley-wearing cliche you have of our fair neighbor to the west. He's trashy but not in a good way, and so is his magazine.
Snooki, on the other hand, is so trashy she's fabulous. We just want to give her a big hug and touch her freakin' poof and get wasted with her while she does naked back flips across the club. And for just $2,000 we can book her to appear at our next party to do just that!
So, what happens when the two of them get together? Is it a wonderful amalgamation of all that is delightfully wrong about Jersey Shore, or is it so bad that it goes past "so bad it's good" and goes back to bad again? We think it's the final option, poor Snooki.
But check out some of the quotes that Chaunce is attributing to the Princess of Poughkeepsie:
"I'm really glad MTV pulled the scene where I get punched in the face. The first time I saw it I cried. What the hell? Who does that? I blacked out when he hit me. I just remember waking up on the floor and thinking, "What the hell just happened?" Besides, who wants to see that? People make fun of it like it's a joke. It's not a joke and it's not funny. I thought I lost all my teeth and my jaw was broken. It took two weeks for my face to heal."
[Italian-American groups] don't like the term "Guido". But we use it as a compliment. Anybody can be a Guido. I even know a few African American's who try to be Guidos. They don't really pull it off. But they try...But I don't like when people contact Guidos with the Mafia. I call people in the Mafia, "Guineas". Those are Goombas. The Mob is about killing people. Guidos are about having fun.
On one hand those things seem too perfect for Snooki to actually say, but they are also so stupidly brilliant that they sound like gems right out of her mouth.
We don't venture anywhere we could actually pick up this bastion of journalism, but if anyone sees it, will you pick us up a copy? Maybe send some scans? We'd like to see this with our own two eyes.