The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Everyone got crunk at the IAC/College Humor/Daily Beast X-Mas party. Did you? Did Julia Allison? Know what a "walk off" is? The Elle party apparently does, so suckit, Vogue. VICE/VBS.tv? And what about this here website's shindig? Party roundup time!

Merry Christmas, media people with jobs! You made it to the next round of evolution, which is letting your nails rip off as you cling to the side of a ship gone vertical in 2010! We're all going to be falling into The Borg anyway, so you have two options: feed it poetry or get really fucking drunk. What do you think most people did? Some people did both!

Page Six has a report from the Vogue and Elle parties. The one night a year Andre Leon Talley takes off the stilettos and cuts a rug won't go unnoticed by the gossipy masses. Holler for a dollar, ladies. Who's got it this year? The answer may SHOCK YOU:

Elle staffers had a lot of Christmas cheer at the magazine's holiday party at SL in the Meatpacking District. "It was the first time in history that we beat Vogue in overall ad pages for the entire year, so everyone was in a really good mood," said one attendee. "People were doing 'The Worm' and dancing to Lady Gaga. There was even a walk-off."

The worm?! Lady Gaga?!? Risque. They might've even taken some stuff from the fashion closet for tonight! Or even crazier: abstained from doing so! Nuts. Media people just get more and more hardcore as the years move forward.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

But Page Six gotta pay penance to the queen, nahmean? Anna had to throw down, right? Same item:

But the mood was no less festive at Vogue's party on the top floor bar of the Standard Hotel. "It was a very glamorous night," says a spy. "I think everyone's just glad the year is over."

AW, SHIT, SON. Vogue booked the Boom Boom Room for their party. The Boom Boom Room is basically the toughest door in New York right now. They've turned rejection into a refined art. If you don't feel ugly after they're done with you, someone's losing their job. Fun fact! The re-Tweeted Tweeter, "International Party Boy" David Gómez V. (?!) deleted the original Tweet, probably because he fears the wrath of Anna (or because he didn't get in!). Love Twitter. Love it. For whatever it's worth, there's not much out there on Twitter about the Vogue party, either because (A) they all live in fear of Anna or (B) they don't really want word getting out that they had their party at the priciest room in the city, Boom Boom (note that the Page Six item doesn't call it by name; why?). Either way, it was probably a great, boring time with lots of pretty people and their scared assistants fetching them Acai-laced vodka or whatever. The IAC party, on the other hand?

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

RAGER. At IAC, Empress Barry Diller and Queen Beard Diane Von Fursternburg held court with the kids from The Daily Beast, College Humor, uh, and the hardcore partiers at Zwinky.com, whatever the shit that is. We have reports of dancing, a macaroni bar, a sushi bar, and Barry Diller personally filling and huffing nitrous balloons with the Vimeo kids while laughing about that stupid ass Capital Records lawsuit. Also, this person was very excited about DJing.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Some people go into the IAC party with hopes and dreams.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Some people consider their stock.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Others simply wake up with dreams...of greasy food.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

And if you're Ars Technica writer Casey Johnson, your nightmare's just begun.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

But the real gold comes in the form of the IAC photo booth shots. I mean, if you want to see people get progressively more drunk with their overlords, this is it. Check out these kids grabbing Barry and Diane Von Furstenburg into the shot with them. GENIUS. Just look at it again. These guys win the night. For the record, the guy in the specs is Henry Seltzer, the original Gawker intern. And the one at front is Bryan Curtis, ex-Slate. Media people! They get around.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Lady Beast of the Day Tina Brown, make the kissy face like the kids do!

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Also, kudos to whoever did the photobooth for keeping up the pics of the kids just absolutely sloshed on booze and whatever synthetics were in the house that night. I could be wrong, but this would appear to be ketamine.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

This would appear to be simply "shitface drunk."

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

And this would appear to be College Humor's Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Aw. Ricky Van Veen and his date are CUTE. Warm your cold holiday sobriety with that, graduates. ALSO, isn't that his ex, Annamarie Tendler, and isn't he kinda dating Guest of a Guest's Rachelle Hruska these days? Who knows?! I don't. UPDATE: How wrong I was! They're not dating.NOW YOU KNOW. We all do. News you can use. Etc.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Do we have a Ben Silverman? Or are they just raising an army of guys who look like this?

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Want to know what the VBS.tv party was like? Hold your breath until you get to the Music Hall of Williamsburg; wait in line to get a beer, end up getting tequila. Drink too much of it until you walk, stumble, or fall down three flight of stairs while Small Black plays in the background. When you get to the bottom, realize that everyone left because nobody was doing drugs. Make sure you have your belongings with you and at least one of the two people you came with, and go home. I'm serious. I tried to smoke inside and I was told to put it out. What kind of fucking VICE holiday party is that?! FAIL. Suroosh Alvi and Shane Smith were there, though. That was impressive.

The Media Holiday Party Circuit: Drunken Ragers, Danceoffs, and Food at the ______ Party

Meanwhile, what about this here company? No significant reports emerged from our party, go figure. I was there and out of respect to my holiday party circuit media cred, did not Tweet or Foursquare my location out to others. However, I did report on the ______ party elsewhere, and I have to say, it was a pretty good time, and I have yet to hear about someone puking up that beet salad. So, there's that. People are still getting their employees drunk, and, you know, if you can't take that as a sign of optimism, what else do you have? I mean, really? What else is there?