Should Hippie College Bathrooms Be a Super Sexy Party?S

Isn't it time for you to devote some thought to America's single least important issue? Yes, the "Should college bathrooms be co-ed?" debate is still boiling, and we will now force you to consider this thoroughly ridiculous question. Consider it!

On America's hippie college campuses today (which is all of them except, apparently, where I went), boys and girls stay in dorms together and as if that wasn't sexxxy enough, they also go in the same bathrooms where they shower and even poop in close proximity. Some people say this is considerate for transgender students while other people say there's no way my daughter is getting the shower while an M.I.T. boy masturbates in a stall just feet away. No matter how you feel about this contentious issue, the for sure thing is that we must continue to debate and talk about it—preferably basing our arguments on various obscure gender theories we just learned last semester—especially since one college girl's dad has now filed an actual lawsuit in a real court about this important topic.

"The men just disrobe in the middle of the room," [the poor embarrassed girl's father] said, and women shouldn't have to see that.

"That's not how your daughter feels!" exclaim the campus "fraternity" types, and this important debate continues.

[Pic via]