Poetry in the Machine: 'Mismatched Plates'S

Seed, the AOL Media Borg that will destroy journalism, is still alive, despite our best efforts. Today we launch another missile of creativity at its hull. It asks what to do with mismatched plates, and we respond with a poem.

That's right, Seed is a horrible awful mad robot brain that comes up with headlines based on the things that people are searching for on the internet. If this were an old library, they would take the most worn cards out of card catalog and cut them up to create little ransom notes. Once the headlines are made, it asks the fledgling writers at home to write articles based on them so that they'll have plenty of fresh content to feed all their starving websites. This will crush all our souls, and the only thing we have to combat it with is poetry so that this beast will come to a creaking, grinding halt, like the Tin Man before Dorothy found him. Let us see how the ax falls today.

Mismatched Plates*

If we spent more time together,
I think you'd really like me,
I'll take you to the Tastee Diner
oh so quaint and quirky.

We pick on the pretentious waiters
dressed like they're on the street
and when ask what we'll be eating,
we'll order something sweet

Like pie or ice cream or chocolate
mocha cream tarts
and when it gets to the table
that's my favorite part.

Cause nothing comes on the same
saucer, plate, or tray.
"LOOK AT ME I'M DIFFERENT!"
the china seems to say.

The flotsom flatware tries so hard
like a hipster on parade
that I wish I could blow it all up
with a glittery grenade.

But instead I grab your right knee
beneath the table top
and when my hand moves thighward
you don't make me stop.

Your corduroys are soft and fleshy
I want in them soon,
And none of this bullshit will matter
when the dish runs away
with the spoon.

Original, actual assignment: What can you do with a set of mismatched dishes if you don't want to serve on them? Can you decorate your home with them? How? Can you make something with them? What? TARGET KEYWORDS: crafts. OTHER: Use embedded links where appropriate, with preference for links to relevant AOL properties. TONE: Friendly, informative, authoritative but not intimidating. SUGGESTED LENGTH: 300 Words. PAYS: $25 USD.

[Image via Catskills Grrl's Flickr]