We already told you there's nothing gay about the new Sherlock Holmes movie, but Robert Downey Jr. keeps trying to sell it as a (shudder) "bromance" to the studio's chagrin. They shouldn't fret, because these pairs are even more flaming!
To take some heat off of Holmes and Watson here are some other pairs whose relationship has gone way past Platonic and into heavy petting. Warner Bros execs just need to get Downey and Jude Law next to any of these couples and they'll look like the skirt-chasingest pussy hounds in all of Heteroland.
Bert and Ernie
On Our Gaydar Because: Two grown puppet men who live together on Sesame Street and drive each other crazy, but are always professing their love for one another. Yeah, sounds like every gay couple we know.
Gayest Thing About Them: Ernie plucks his eyebrows so relentlessly, they have disappeared.
Straightest Thing About Them: Bert's unibrow.
Gay Icon: Madam
Turtle and Drama
On Our Gaydar Because: These Entourage blokes have girlfriends but are always going on adventures together. We think all that locker room talk is just compensation. Also, their mutual unrequited love of Vince is what drives them together.
Gayest Thing About Them: Once crossed swords during a threeway.
Straightest Thing About Them: Turtle's body.
Gay Icon: The Sex and the City Girls
Yogi and Boo Boo
On Our Gaydar Because: They're always together hunting for the perfect basket. Also, they're bears. Hello!
Gayest Thing About Them: Boo Boo's voice.
Straightest Thing About Them: They're always avoiding Ranger Smith. A gay couple would have invited him over as a "guest star" by now.
Gay Icon: Tom Colicchio
Cagney and Lacey
On Our Gaydar Because: We think all female cops are lesbians. Also, we needed a token female duo.
Gayest Thing About Them: All those slacks!
Straightest Thing About Them: Lacey's husband.
Gay Icon: Rosie the Riveter
Penn and Teller
On Our Gaydar Because: Have you ever seen them with a woman? I didn't think so.
Gayest Thing About Them: Magic. Also, Teller's "don't ask, don't tell" act.
Straightest Thing About Them: That pony tail!
Gay Icon: Endora
Crockett and Tubbs
On Our Gaydar Because: Two attractive gentlemen living in Miami. They might as well just move into the Versace mansion.
Gayest Thing About Them: This picture.
Straightest Thing About Them: All that white after labor day.
Gay Icon: Madonna
Batman and Robin
On Our Gaydar Because: They are the original "ambiguously gay duo." Also Robin's real name is Dick Grayson. We hate to get all juvenile, but his name has "dick" right in it.
Gayest Thing About Them: Tights.
Straightest Thing About Them: Nothing.
Gay Icon: Eartha Kitt