Dana Perino's 9 Favorite Things reminded me that my favorite thing about 2009 has been that we don't have to care about Dana Perino anymore. Or any other Bush people! Let us list 7 of them we do not miss.
All Of the Press Secretaries
The was the weaselly obfuscator, Fleischer. There was the doughy moron fall guy, Scott McLellan. There was Tony Snow, who was, obviously, the most personable, and the "best" of them, but being the nicest professional liar of a pack of professional liars is no prize. And then there was Dana, whose favorite things of 2009 include "The Troops," whom the White House press office lied about relentlessly, from blaming Abu Grahib on a couple bad apples to Pat Tillman to Jessica Lynch. The White House press office that printed that Mission Accomplished banner, about which Perino later said it referred to the specific mission of the specific sailors on the specific boat that the President was speaking on. Because she hates the troops.
A dumb criminal. A Coen Brothers character. No redeeming qualities.
As responsible as anyone for Bush getting elected to begin with, this vicious political hack was eventually charged with Making the Muslims Like Us, many years after Bush declared a Crusade against them. She made some YouTubes. Good work.
Condi and Colin
Grouped together because at various points, these were the Bushies of whom otherwise sensible people would say "oh they are the good ones." They weren't. Colin's been a Good Soldier since his early days attempting to cover up My Lai. His UN Speech was maybe the low point of Bush's first term, a point at which their contempt for reality was laid bare. Condi just never accomplished one single solitary thing.
He is an obvious target, but his senile mismanagement of two wars is still staggering. Is he also responsible for the political career of Dick Cheney? Yeah, he is.
Are you a tragic heroine? Are you secretly decent and smart? How the fuck should we know, you never said anything.
They were cute but that is no reason to absolve them of their crimes: did you know Miss Beazley headed up the task force charged with capturing Bin Laden, and the other one (Barbara?) was in charge of the investigation into whoever kept sending us Anthrax?