Winehouse went to a play for children in a crappy small English town. Though police haven't released details, it seems she (allegedly) started profanely heckling the performers and then assaulted a member of staff who tried to stop her.

She was charged with assault today, for the incident which happened on Saturday. The 26-year-old gave her married name, Amy Civil, when she presented herself at the police station. I am writing this in my capacity as temporary London correspondent. Using my expert knowledge of England, I can tell you that the town it happened in, Milton Keynes, is shitty beyond belief (it's famous for roundabouts) and that the real scandal is that Amy Winehouse is attending performances in the equivalent of, say, Sacramento.

The play she was seeing was a pantomime. Forgive me if you know this, but a pantomime is a British play for children that tends to be based on a fairytale. There's a tradition whereby they crowd join in with performers. In one common scene the good guy (Cinderella in this case) is hiding from the bad guy (the ugly sisters, one presumes) and asks the audience whether they can see said bad guy. The villain is lurking behind them. The crowd then shout out "he's behind you!" Look: it's rainy over here, and times are tough and we have to make our own fun, OK?

Winehouse put her own spin on the call-and-response tradition. The Daily Mail reported the incident thus:

At the performance the singer was said to have shocked children and parents by shouting 'He's f ****** behind you' and yelling out 'F*** Cinders, Prince Charming, marry me". Refusing to sit down, she also branded the Ugly Sisters 'b******".

A member of staff tried to stop her, and the rest writes itself. Allegedly.