Today's Northwest Flight 253 in Detroit: Evacuated Due to Nigerian Man's Extended Bathroom Stay

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this sound like today's Flight 253 was evacuated because a Nigerian was on the can for too long? Maybe he was reading Netherland. Who knows? But another flight in Detroit was just evacuated.

Honestly?

The passenger spent about an hour in the bathroom and got upset when he was questioned by the crew of the flight from Amsterdam, Netherlands, according to government sources. Law enforcement agents were questioning the man Sunday.

It sounds like he was taking a really long shit. I'd be —uh, pissed?—as well! You know what it's like when you're in the bathroom at a party and someone keeps knocking on the door and you're like, Ugh, it's bad enough I'm going to the bathroom at this party, this person knows I'm in here. Why are they knocking? Unless you're doing blow, in which case, you have no excuse. But I don't think he was doing blow because who would do blow on an airplane in Detroit? Talk about an instant comedown on five different levels. Unless he was doing blow and the blow was cut with some laxative, which would maybe merit being on the can for a while. But to evacuate the entire plane?

Also, maybe he's just another Nigerian Testicle Terrorist in Detroit. There's that, too.