On December 28th, 1981 Pat Sajak begins hosting Wheel of Fortune. Pat, Pat, Pat... say what you will, but this being is an enigma. It's tough to discern whether or not he is a robot or a living human.

We know he does not have an actual sense of humor, as many people were forced to learn the hard way while trying to endure a year of The Pat Sajack Show back in 1990. Could it really be that his never having hooked up with Vanna and a shiny, bare scalp have been mere "jokes?" Sorry Captain Sajak, we here at Gawker.TV just don't buy it.

Pat kisses Vanna:

Pat is bald: