We Hate Jon Gosselin for Making Us Care about His Apartment TrashingS

Someone trashed Jon Gosselin's Upper West Side apartment. It was either his ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, seeking revenge or him seeking attention. Their lawyers disagree! So does the press! Who to believe in this very important case?

Just when we thought that Gosselin would be one of those horrible memories of 2009 that would fade as soon as the big ball drops in Times Square on Friday, he comes back with this retarded and completely manufactured story. If only we had something else to write about between holidays, but no, we're stuck worrying about whether Jon Gosselin wrecked his Manhattan pussy den or whether his girlfriend did it for him.

Gosselin's apartment was definitely ransacked on Saturday by someone. A note calling him all sorts of mean names (like that hasn't happened before) was left on the dresser and stabbed with a knife. It was signed 'Hailey Glassman,' Jon's ex.

In today's NY Post, Glassman cops to leaving the note, but says she didn't trash the place or put a knife through it. Anand Ahuja, Glassman's lawyer, told the Post, "To me it appears to be a huge, huge publicity stunt. There was nothing taken she wasn't entitled to. Gosselin told her, 'I am going to be evicted, so take with you whatever you want to take.'"

Gosselin's lawyer is out with a statement of his own. "Hailey Glassman is going to jail. It's a simple as that," his attorney Mark Heller told RadarOnline.com. He also says that there is security footage that proves Glassman did the trashing.

Well, get us the fucking tape already! If it exists that is the only thing that can clear Gosselin's name. Because, Jon, America hates you. It thinks that you and your midlife crisis and Ed Hardy T-shirts and Vegas pool parties and inappropriate girlfriends and Michael Lohan bro-dates are a disgusting mess and it's going to believe Hailey Glassman over you! That is seriously sad. We really want to believe that you ruined your own house, smashed a Ming vase, and cut up your "favorite Louis Vuitton shoes" for attention because that is the kind of character we think you have.

According to the old internet adage, pictures or it didn't happen. Give us the tape or shut the hell up, Jon. Either way we want to forget about this whole thing—and you—as soon as possible.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]