2009 had its fair share of things that didn't go exactly according to plan. F-bombs, dry-humping, real humping, and lots of unforeseen stupidity. Here are the 12 best things that weren't supposed to happen on TV, but luckily, they did.
Aretha's hat charms the pants off of a nation.
Aretha comes out to sing "My Country, 'Tis of Thee", and basically every person watching Obama's inauguration went from shock, to confusion, to adoration on what was sitting atop the diva's head. Some day that hat will reside in the Smithsonian.
Joaquin's tour of crazy peaks on Letterman.
Joaquin Phoenix decided that 2009 was finally the year for him to go crazy. He sits down with Dave for an interview, matches his manufactured crazy with Dave's wit for 8 minutes. Dave wins.
Carrie Prejean opens her mouth, bile comes out.
This was a planned event, so why is it up here? Well, Miss California read a written statement, but no one was prepared for the level of victimization she would serve up while also being a hate-filled, un-accepting bigot. The irony was simply astounding.
Theresa loses her shit on Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Theresa, completely unwilling to take Danielle's lies and drama anymore, completely floses it and flips over a table, thus cementing herself in the Real Housewive's Hall of Fame.
Jenny Slate's SNL F-Bomb
Jenny Slate is an SNL rookie, and frankly we would still have no idea who she was if it wasn't for this.
Letterman uses his monologue to come clean about banging his co-workers.
After being blackmailed, Letterman decided to just go ahead and admit that he has had sex with people on the show. This admission of guilt is inexplicably met with applause.
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has some 'splaining to do.
Keeping with the cheating theme, Governor Sanford revealed that he had an insatiable desire to do two things in life: Hike the Appalachian Trail and betray every person he knows by banging his Argentinian mistress.
Congressman Joe Wilson screams out "You Lie!"
A good year for South Carolinian politicians! Joe Wilson is fed up with our pinko commie president giving handouts to illegal immigrants so they can come into our country to immediately start aborting babies. So he deals with it the only way he knows how, by interrupting a speech.
Balloon Boy barfs on The Today Show.
The whole fiasco may have been fake, but Falcon puking was certainly real.
Adam Lambert dry-humps everything in sight at the AMAs.
Adam Lambert needs to create an over-the-top glam image. That was achieved by simulating oral sex with a man, and kicking a woman between the legs. Then I guess this performance is a success?
Snooki's Phantom Punch.
The punch that happened but didn't really happened but everyone saw it anyway so it happened. But not really.
Kanye interrupts Taylor, swiftly.
Other unscripted moments, I'm really happy for you, but Kanye had the best moment of 2009 of all time. OF ALL TIME.