The only thing that'd be less predictable than this is if she'd actually taken a bump while doing the weather ("It's SNOWAAAANG!"). But: Kathy Griffin provided YouTube gold ringing in the new year with Anderson Cooper on CNN. Observe:

We're somewhat familiar here with the issue of Falcon Heene, but none of us were coked up enough at the time to make that stupid of a joke about a six year-old kid's name. He's six, right? Whatever. And speaking of coked up, just...go to the next slide.

Kathy Griffin probably did do blow sometime between commercial breaks while Anderson wasn't looking. Also, jokes about poppers, which, for all you straight people who aren't already aware, are huffs of amyl nitrate, which are classically enjoyed by Gonzo journalists and The Gays mid-coitus (so you could see how Ms. Griffin's reference here would be apropos). As for "Poppy," I think Kathy Griffin was intending on it coming out as "Papi," which she'd be calling Anderson Cooper. So, Poppers for Papi: drugs for Anderson Cooper and His Gay Friends to get high on while having an orgy as Kathy Griffin does the play-by-play.

But more importantly, yes, you heard them correctly: they were cutting* to Key* West where, instead of dropping balls (an ostensible, literal product of the night, to be sure) a drag queen named Sushi had to be lowered in on a giant shoe.


In a related note, CNN appears to have turned into reality's version of The Birdcage last night. AGADOR! Bring Kathy her Pirin tablets!


As for the whole Anderson Cooper is Gay thing goes, there's, uh, well. This.

She's obviously referring to him getting a blowjob.

From other men. If anything, this broadcast is irrefutable evidence of Anderson Cooper's sexuality. Straight men can not stand to be around Kathy Griffin that long, even if they are getting paid. They should've done this on Logo. And who were they talking to, one of the Queer Guy diaspora's masses? Jesus.

Also, via Guanabee, here's Anderson Cooper reading a Twitter of someone telling Kathy Griffin to shut the fuck up.

I'm not sure exactly when this was, but it has to be later on in the evening, right? Because they sound like I did later on in the evening: slurring, stupid, and trying to get the fuck out of dodge. But wait, Kathy Griffin had a bag of dicks in her mouth to begin with? I don't understand. I'm going to go lie back down now.

Update: This is from last year. So there's precedent! Commenter SecretAgentMan notes: The fourth one is from last year. It's why CNN told her she would have to give back her fee, if she cursed like that again.I love these two together. Well, if that's true, looks like she won't be getting her fee this year. And yes, in all truth, this is kind of wonderful, lowbrow-brilliant entertainment.