Social Services: The Twin Spawn of Charlie Sheen Shall Remain with their Mother Breeder

Charlie Sheen's kids: staying with their mom. Michael Jackson's estate: being collected on by people worse than Joe Jackson. Alicia Keys and Arianna Huffington want places in the city. Kristen Bell gets a BAAAAW. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

  • Social services are going to allow Charlie Sheen's new babies to stay with their mother in Aspen while Charlie Sheen...is somewhere else. Because she has a restraining order against him. Which she's trying to get lifted, so they can start to mend fences. [NYDN]

  • Michael Jackson is still very much being fucked with in death, now, by his creditors, who are remembering the pop star by hitting his estate up for what people are telling TMZ is upwards of $20M. More than anyone, they will absolutely not stop until they get enough. [TMZ]

  • Alicia Keys and her boyfriend Swizz Beats (Alicia Keys is dating Swizz Beats?!? Whatever.) are looking to buy a penthouse as far away from Tri-beck-ah as they can: near Gracie Mansion on the UES. They confirmed they were dating in May and now are looking to buy a penthouse together?! Jesus. [Page Six]

  • Leighton Meester gets business advice from Cyndi Lauper. You get yours from who again? [People]

  • I love these two Page Six sightings. First, Andrea Bocelli is HUNGRY. For capers. Which, you know whoever wrote that one just ended up giggling. And the second: Tina Fey is nice to German tourists at dinner. Like, of course she is. Also, this is the SKETCHIEST blind item ever. [Page Six and Page Six]

  • Michael Lohan's going out with former Star-reporter turned "star" fucker (pun unintended, seriously) Kate Major? Major's the one who infamously quit her job at Star over trying to screw Jon Gosselin in at least one literal and (definitely many) figuratively different ways. They got tattoos together. Tattoos! I'm shocked they just didn't have Harvey Levin do it for them while his paps snapped away. [TMZ]

  • BAAAAW. Here's Kristen Bell saying something really cute about her new Burlesque co-stars Cher and Christina Aguleria and them getting along like gangbusters. Everything Kristen Bell says and does is cute, and she can do no wrong. Seriously. She could shiv a bunch of little kids and everyone would be like BAAAAAW. Also, the phone, it needs to be held: she's in a movie called Burlesque with Cher and Christina Aguleria?! Holy shit! Peter Gallagher is in this! And Stanley Tucci and Alan Cumming and Eric Dane! This is going to be awesome. [Page Six]

  • Sleazy funny comedian Artie Lange is in the hospital for "undisclosed reasons." Hope he's okay. Joe Buck's got to be feeling just a wee bit of schadenfreude. Maybe those "undisclosed reasons" were the result of Buck's very expensive voodoo hex. [TMZ]

  • BAAAAW. American Idol's dreadlocked hippie Jason Castro got married to his girlfriend in Texas. And they're cute. [People]

  • Arianna Huffington is looking to buy a place in New York. She want something in SoHo near the HuffPo offices. Which are also near our offices! Maybe we can have Sharks vs. Jets-like knifefights over the summer. [Page Six]

  • Aw. Alexa Ray Joel is gonna be okay after her suicide attempt a month back and is going to be educating girls on heartbreak-related depression. [Zombie Radar]

  • The entire implication behind this photo can be summer up in two words: "Sade. GIRL." [TMZ]

  • If D-Grade celebrities ever get unionized, Michael Lohan's going to be their Norma Rae. He's challenging Jon Gosselin to a boxing match. He's the worst. [Zombie Radar]

  • Lindsay Lohan can still attract a crowd when she's out shopping with her mom in New York. Questions, so many of them: 1. Why can't she alchemize this ability into a career? 2. Who are these people who stand around and watch Lindsay Lohan shop like one watches a rhino in a zoo sit around and fart? 3. Where do those people come from? Because they're not New Yorkers. Or they better not be. [Page Six]

  • What....the fuck is this picture of Verne Troyer that Michael K ran for his birthday on New Year's Day. Like, what? Amazing. [D Listed]

  • Kate Moss blew $10K on flight tickets after she missed her plane because she got too wasted on Christmas. She eventually got to where she was going, which is Thailand, to kick it with her boyfriend, who's that dude from The Kills. I want her life. [Page Six]

And the second day of my campaign to reunite the New Radicals is in full-effect. Also, did you know it's like 40 degrees but after the wind chill (for which there is a "wind advisory" for) it feels like "fucking freezing." Like, it's awful. Which is why you should stay inside and play on the internet! And get food and/or drugs (if you live in New York) delivered to you. Happy Freezing-Ass Sunday!

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]