Paparazzi pictures of 300 stud Gerard Butler looking all fat in Barbados have everyone in a tizzy. Finally it seems male celebrities will be held to the same impossible body standards as their female counterparts. Thank God.
For so many years Hollywood's leading men, even of the leading and romantic varieties, have been allowed to fall into a state of disrepair after first seducing fans with their svelte physiques. Just look at Russell Crowe, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn. This was acceptable behavior, to get all big and bloated and still play men who women fawn all over in the movies. It seems like Fatty Butler is putting this to rest.
"From Spartan to softie: Gerard Butler packs on the holiday pounds and shows off his new beach body," reads the headline in the New York Daily News. "Gerard Butler packs some paunch on his Barbados holiday as his Spartan muscles become a distant memory," says theU.K.'s Daily Mail. Celebitchy cuts right to the chase with, "Gerard Butler shows off his gut & moobs in Barbados."
These are the types of headlines usually reserved for female celebs like the Olsen twins, who are a constant source of speculation for being either too fat or dangerously thin. Jessica Simpson, who got the "Fat Jessica: Still Hot?" treatment when she gained a couple pounds last year. Britney Spears is only in the tabs good graces now that she has lost the weight from her Video Music Awards debacle in 2007.
Butler needs to follow Britney's example (did you ever think anyone would say that ever?) and get back in shape and remind the public that he is a hunk of burning love. After all, look at what we fell in love with? His role in 300 was predicated more on his abdominals than it was his acting ability, and that's what we want.
Sorry, we're not going to lobby for more lax standards for celebrities. If they want to be famous, they have to pay the price by being famously fit. After all, if we want to look at people carrying a bit of fat around the midsection we'll start following politics. Other than starring in movies and TV shows and making albums, stars have nothing else to do but go to the gym and eat right. They also have money and the access to afford the best trainers, nutritionist, yoga instructors, or surgery, if it really comes to that. And part of their job description is to be more beautiful than the fatties that we see every Saturday at the mall buying bigger sweatpants.
No matter what you might say about Madonna's scary arms, she managed to keep a stellar body into her 50s. Same with Jamie Lee Curtis, Demi Moore (not quite fifty), and even Sally Boniva Field! These women know that maintaining a career as an actress means being held up to nearly impossible standards, and it's finally time for the men to join in. Hear that, Val Kilmer? Better get to the gym, Alec Baldwin. Robert Downey Jr and Brad Pitt are still rocking killer bodies well into their prime, and that is going to be the standard for the future. That means Zac Efron will never eat another piece of chocolate cake in his life, but such is the price of fame.
The Star cover above, while predominantly concerned with women, also includes some men, which shows that they are starting to get the heat for looking good in public as well. Let's hope that Gerard is the final nail in that coffin. We're just sick of seeing man boobs with the men behind them getting a free pass from public ridicule.