The Way We Live Now: Ungratefully. Just like the mere knowledge that Ethiopians were starving did not make you enjoy your mom's gross turnips, neither does the knowledge of widespread unemployment make you like your job. You ungrateful bastard.

Just look at this, with disgust: Only 45% of American workers are happy with their jobs. Well, why don't you give your job to someone unemployed, and try starving while simultaneously stealing toilet paper from fast food restrooms out of necessity, you ungrateful person? Hmm?


And another thing! The whole freaking country is falling apart. Take some pride in your surroundings, America. Take some pride in your work. In Atlanta, strip clubs are trying to shut down other strip clubs. Unsuccessfully. With rats and roaches and failed arson attempts. It's a crime against commerce, but more importantly, it's a crime against proud arsonists.

And what about this god damn recession-plagued cul-de-sac the New York Times keeps writing about? The people there are fucked up, optimistic, whatever, just like everyone else. Hey NYT, if I wanted to know what goes on in a suburban cul-de-sac, I would move to one, then kill myself shortly afterward.

Take some pride in your work, America.

There are no private sector left, anyhow. So you don't have to be all like "I'll never take pride in this dumb janitor service job." Because you will own the janitor service, as an entrepreneur! Built in pride. You're the only janitor, but still. You have to start somewhere. We're on our way back down.

[Pic via]