It Would Be a Great Time to Rent an Apartment If You Had Any MoneyS

The Way We Live Now: Rentin' like 47 apartments at the same time! And what is to stop us? It's a renter's paradise out there. As long as you're not jobless or getting robbed or naked and/ or freezing.

US apartment vacancies are at a 30-year high. And you know what that means: Knock a couple hundred off the rent, dude, or kiss my sweet ass goodbye, because I know those new condos in Bed-Stuy are desperate enough to beat your offer.

Indeed, it's not uncommon these days for people to rent an apartment for a night, set it on fire, and rent another one, just to avoid the hassle of visiting Hotels.com. Renting is the "thing" these days! If you are the type of fool who bought an apartment in the last couple years, we bet you really feel like a jerk, don't you? A foolish jerk, at that.

The only problems in this renter's fantasy land: Unemployment is rising, our engagement rings are getting stolen right off our fingers, stores would rather burn old clothes than let poors get their hands on them, and farmers are freezing their balls right off from here clear on down to Tampa.

So it's a great time to rent except you're unemployed and broke with no prospects for the future. Marble countertops or better!
[Pic via]