The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Bless The Smoking Gun for finding the emails sent to the FCC after Adam Lambert gay glitter-splooged all over the American Music Awards' face. People were so mad! And obscene! And worried about the kids! Here are our faves.

Mostly people were shocked and appalled that such sex-filth could be put on television, and their toddlers who were up at 10pm watching pop music awards were scarred forever. TSG has twenty-eight of these morally righteous missives and they're all pretty funny... until they get sorta depressing.

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The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Sounds like someone who would know.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Heh, Rainbow City.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Another destroyed child.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

"We had a long talk about Adam Lambert's dick." The poor girl.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Those rascally, gay-loving Nazis.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Fagatoni with white sauce!

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Adam Lambert is a filthy lesbian.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

At least she properly spelled "Imma."

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Cool it with the crotches, America.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Milk, milk, lemonade.

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Ha!

The Adam Lambert FCC Complaints: Won't Somebody Please Think of the F—king Children??

Ha again!