Harry Reid Finally Apologizes for Spectacularly Dumbassed "Negro" Quote Bound to Unseat HimS

Harry Reid somehow rose to be the Senate Majority Leader! Reid recently used the descriptor "negro" when talking about President Obama. It made no sense. He has now apologized. Especially because he realized he's losing his office on it.

Reid's dumbass remark wasn't entirely racist, it was just pretty racist, and—most offensively—assumed that we were all racists, too. But more than anything, it was just a stupid thing to say.

Reid's remarks were revealed in a new book, "Game Change" by journalists Mark Halperin and John Heilemann about the 2008 race. According to the book, Reid was impressed by Obama's candidacy during the primary campaign, and privately said the country was ready for a black president – particularly a "light-skinned" one "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

GAME CHANGE, indeed, as Reid just moved the bar back for the complexity dumb racist shit people say can have on however many different levels. Obama has forgiven Reid, because Obama doesn't need to talk about racist assholes in America any more than he already has. And also, Reid's the senate majority leader, and a politico sycophant who looks in one direction (up), so he needs him where he has him: in his pocket. OH. And also, he doesn't need Reid to lose his incumbency, because the upcoming midterm elections don't look great for Democrats already, but that's to be expected.

That said, as someone from Nevada, I find it funny that Harry Reid—or any Nevada politicians, really—have held office for so long, as they all mostly suck. Terribly. Then again, this is the same state whose biggest populace keeps electing a guy who told a class of kids what kind of booze they should be sucking down should they ever be marooned on an island to be their mayor, so it's really no surprise! But Reid is something else onto his own.

He is, as far as DC politicos go, a consummate fence-sitter and relentless self-promoter. He's a liberal Mormon who argues for "family values," having taken positions for and against abortion, for and against gay marriage, and for (and against!) supporting or pulling our country's military presence in Iraq. He's a bombastic self-promoter, having famously worked to ensure his cameo in Stephen Soderbergh's Traffic, and makes sure he's at the front of every photo opp he can take. Reid was one of the first non-crooked guys in the history of the Nevada Gaming Commission, and made sure to let everyone know that, and he's used that to keep getting elected by Nevadans who still have trouble identifying a Jack Mormon when they see one, even after the LDS church has both helped build and profit from Vegas' infrastructure beyond the gaming industry. Also, Nevada's voters are patently lazy, and aren't too concerned with moral constitution of their politicos (naturally). See: Home-wrecking Republican John Ensign, America's Worst Governor Jim "Manhandle" Gibbons, and the aforementioned Bombay Sapphire spokesperson, Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman. They're also conservative. But not conservative to the point where they're opposed to prostitution outside of Clark Country, or for that matter, Las Vegas. Basically, as opposed to the liberal sodomites you probably think they are, they just vote like fun-loving corrupt hicks. As for Reid's ability to hold office, there's that: he fits the profile perfectly, or at least, he has.

But Nevada's getting sick of Reid. Las Vegas' economy took one of the biggest housing crisis hits in the country, and it has everyone there depressed and scared. The biggest project in the history of the city, City Center, had to be bailed out by Oilmen from Dubai, who also went broke. Just wait until their first quarter reports. People won't be happy, and then won't be happy again three months later. Meanwhile, Reid's popularity has been waning over the years with his rise to prominence within the Senate because Nevadans perceive him as being even more of an inaccessible starfucker than previously noted. But that's not why Reid's gonna lose. The Las Vegas Review Journal got some interestingly consistent poll numbers, which show Reid's lowest approval ratings ever. That's not all!

The poll also took a snapshot of how Reid would do against three potential GOP opponents. In each case — as in past Review-Journal surveys — it showed the senator would lose with only four in 10 voters supporting him. The potential match-ups would look like this:

• Sue Lowden, former Nevada Republican Party chairwoman, would get 50 percent of the vote to Reid's 40 percent with 10 percent undecided.

Danny Tarkanian, a businessman and former UNLV basketball star, would gain 49 percent of the vote to Reid's 41 percent.

• And Sharron Angle, a

Wait, Danny who?

• Danny Tarkanian, a businessman and former UNLV basketball star,

Harry Reid Finally Apologizes for Spectacularly Dumbassed "Negro" Quote Bound to Unseat Him

WOAH. Do you mean Danny Tarkanian, the son of championship UNLV basketball coach Jerry "Tark the Shark" Tarkanian, who, despite disgracing the team with corruption and bribery allegations and leaving UNLV steeped in a reputation for player/administration misconduct for years to come, still has a column/blog in a Las Vegas newspaper? Do you mean Danny Tarkanian, whose mom Lois Tarkanian still sits on City Council after all these years of being elected solely on the premise that she was Jerry's wife?

Yeah! That Danny Tarkanian. The Tarks are an old-school Vegas family whose patriarch brought more glory to Las Vegas with that UNLV National Championship (despite it being marred in cheating allegations!) than anyone else in the history of that city since Bugsy Siegel and Jack Entratter! They're considered old-school, and if Vegas (and Nevada) wants anything right now, it's a return to the Good Old Days when they still felt like they ran shit (i.e. were making money, their own money, not someone else's money, which, with all the foreign investment in Vegas that bombed, is a rather valid concern). Problem is, Danny's already ran for election twice and lost, once for Secretary of State against the son of much-liked governor Bob Miller, Ross, the other time in an election he claims was crooked, which he actually won a settlement for.

But that's okay, because even though he's clearly not the brightest bulb in the room, and is kind of a jock, he's aiming for Reid's serious vulnerabilities:

Senator Reid claims his seniority justifies his re-election. Remember that even though he wrote the massive "stimulus" bill , Nevada ranks dead last among all 50 states in stimulus education dollars according to www.recovery.org – We are also third from last in transportation infrastructure spending and are experiencing the highest unemployment in our history.

Harry Reid Finally Apologizes for Spectacularly Dumbassed "Negro" Quote Bound to Unseat Him

So Harry Reid is going to be unseated by Tark the Shark's son, and this is the start of it, because (A) Tark the Shark is Vegas Royalty, (B) Harry Reid said one of the dumbest things the Senate Majority Leader has said in recent memory, and (C) The People of Vegas enjoy politicians who're both just crooked enough for them and who don't leave them for the greener pastures of political celebrity, which Reid did. Nicely done. *Makes "shark-eating" sign by clapping both hyper-extended arms.**

* Actually, it'll probably be Sue Lowden, but as Vegas is a betting town, you'd probably get the best odds on Tark, at the Bally's Sporting Book, just like one dependably could whenever his dad was coaching basketball. Go Rebels.