Marriages! Good god, they're everywhere! And you know things are getting bad when Jeter's been poisoned with the matrimony bug as well. The New York Post thinks they know what's up. But, come on: is Derek Jeter actually getting married?
After getting a tip about the upcoming nuptials, The Post confirmed the date by spotting a curious entry in the official calendar at the ritzy reception palace Oheka Castle in Huntington, LI, for the first Friday in November that read simply "JETER wedding." Page Six broke the story of their secret engagement in August. And in November, The Post also ran photos of Jeter and Kelly frolicking in the water off St. Barts — and looking very much in love.
Naturally, there was a denial by the hotel. But okay, honestly?
1. How many Jeter-people will be getting married at castles on Long Island over the next year?
2. Jeter brought Minka Kelly along with him on the inaugural tour of Derek Jeter's Awesome Sex Palace of Shagged Balls.
3. Jeter needs something that will commit to him, and after watching A-Rod and Kate split and World Series MVP Hideki Matsui leave for the fucking Angels, obviously, this thing will not be coming near his penis any time soon after this year.
4. Minka Kelly has made Derek Jeter a meanie whereas he wasn't before because he is condoning Minka Kelly's meanie behavior at Starbucks and that's just not very Jeter-like, you know?
[If you don't watch Friday Night Lights, you may be lost here. But...]
5. If you have seen Minka Kelly's portrayal of Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights, and fully comprehend the idea that each actor takes a piece of their character with them, or vice versa, you'll understand exactly how Minka Kelly came to sink her claws into Derek Jeter's heart, and she will not let go until either (A) they spawn or (B) she rips it out and proceeds to have sex with Jonathan Papelbon (who is sadly, in this case, Tim Riggins to Jeter's Jason Street).
So yeah, they're probably engaged.
[Photo via Bauer-Griffin]