Following yesterday's late night melee, we wondered: after four nights of infighting, would détente emerge this evening? Nope! Conan O'Brien embarrassed NBC in the best way ever, Jay Leno personally attacked David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel mocked everyone, and much more.
Just like every other day this week, all of the noteworthy clips from tonight's broadcasts are grouped below by show and labeled accordingly.
I. THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN
12:15 AM ET: If one thing is clear at this point, it's that O'Brien no longer gives an eff. Tonight, he spent the entire first half of his show attacking the network that bailed on him, after coming out to a resounding ovation by a crowd that repeatedly chanted "Coco!" O'Brien's best quote from this first segment—which included a mock shootout in the NBC Studios parking lot—was definitely this one: "NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I'm such an idiot, they now want me to run the network."
Later, O'Brien did another "Classic Tonight Show Moment" bit. Then, he put his Joan Rivers hat on and feigned a home shopping segment for The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien merchandise. The item up for sale, a suitcase, was described by O'Brien as follows: "This bag is as impenetrable as an NBC executive's skull." Then, O'Brien went for the jugular: "And, get this: 100% of the proceeds will go toward bailing out the 2010 Winter Olympics on NBC, which—according to business analysts—has already lost $200 million." Edit: Apparently, the shopping segment wasn't completely feigned—O'Brien has listed the suitcase on eBay. [CLICK HERE] to visit the auction, where the bag has a current bid (as of 1:29 AM ET) of $999,999.00. (Thanks to GlasgowRose for the tip in the comments!)
Finally, O'Brien confirmed the reports that he did, in fact, put The Tonight Show up for sale on Craigslist yesterday (the post was curiously flagged for removal shortly after its appearance on the web site). O'Brien also invited writer Deon Cole back on for a continuation of Tuesday night's pimp/ho discussion.
2:50 AM ET: O'Brien's second guest of the night was the HBIC of 24 herself, Mary Lynn Rajskub. This whole interview was just great, so why not include it? Rajskub attempts to cheer O'Brien up about losing The Tonight Show by detailing some of her employment nightmares of yore before going one hilarious anecdote after another.
II. THE JAY LENO SHOW
10:50 PM ET: Leno opened his monologue with a joke about himself and Conan O'Brien, suggesting that they are "two hosts skating on thin ice." Then, he attempted to get sympathy by mentioning that he was getting "beat up in the press" before personally going after Letterman: "Even Dave Letterman [is] taking shots at me, which is a surprise. Usually, he's just taking shots at interns."
Later on in the broadcast, Leno welcomed Terry Bradshaw on stage and the two men held a Q&A session with audience members. During it, Leno got in one last jab at NBC...
...before Bradshaw took an even bigger one at Letterman, alleging that the Late Show host is still committing adultery on his wife, Regina Lasko.
III. JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!
1:20 AM ET: Tonight, Kimmel opened with a line that might have something to do with the fact that he slayed Leno to his face last night: "Hey, if anyone sees a man with a giant chin lurking outside, let me know—he may be here to kill me." Kimmel then went on to make fun of NBC and played a hilarious mock promo for the five hours a week the network must fill before the 2010 Winter Olympics are finished. Oh, yeah: they all starred Fred Willard.
IV. THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
12:45 AM ET: Letterman opened his show tonight with a couple of minutes devoted to the NBC situation, though he was much more tame than the rest of the week. This is probably due to the fact that Letterman doesn't work on Fridays and tapes two shows on Monday instead.
V. THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON
1:00 AM ET: Ferguson stuck to his word tonight and avoided mention of the war over late night. Instead, he spent his opening talking about an impending trip to Canada, before ending it with "Do you see what I've done? I've talked for two-and-a-half minutes, not about NBC's late night situation. How was that?"