Science: Americans Can't CountS

Number-talkin' scientists report that Americans can speak English and count to ten, but not at the same time. A study shows that our brains perceive the vowel sounds in "two" to represent something large, while the vowel sounds in "three" represent something small (in our brains, still). So people estimated that a $3 item marked down to $2.22 was actually more expensive than a $3 item marked down to $2.33.

Related: Conservatives don't want to be college professors.

Conclusion: Rich people are dumb; poor people are dumb; smart people are dumb. (At least in America).