Australian Open Descends Into Schoolyard Mess of Pissed Pants and Slap FightsS

The tragic headline: "Player Fights with Fan, Ballboy Wets His Pants." A Brazilian tennis player was physically restrained during a fight with a female heckler, while American Donald Young's match waited 40 minutes while they blow-dried the court.

"The ball kid peed on himself. It was unfortunate," Young said.

"It took a while to replace him. Then they had to put the sawdust down, or whatever you put down when somebody throws up.

"Then they had to use the blower (to dry the court) but the blower had no gas in it, so that took even more time."

Miraculously, there are no videos of the potty pants event online—a small consolation for our soggy, hopelessly humiliated friend. [TheAge]