On the same day Farrah's mother was arrested for choking her, Teen Mom happened to air a brand new episode. Is it possible to look at their relationship objectively anymore? Absolutely, because it's been crumbling for weeks now.

Last night was about the mothers and their independence. Independence from their children, from their parents, and from their loved ones. Also, is it possible that Amber and Gary are done for good? Hahaha, no. They'll fight forever.

Farrah and Debra


It just so happens that last night—as if on cue—Farrah was bickering non-stop with her mother. And after yesterday's incident, it's hard to look at Farrah's mother the same way during their fights. Analyzing facial ticks and reactions to her daughter, thinking to yourself, "What would Farrah have to do to make her mother choke her?" And then you see just how poisonous the two of them are for each other. Farrah is the least fit of all the girls on the show to be a mother. And while she does care for her baby, it is more a burdensome responsibility to her than anything. She thinks of her child as a chore more akin to cleaning the garage every day than as a living thing requiring care and attention. On the other side of the spectrum, Farrah's mother, Debra, cares too much for the baby, constantly micromanaging Farrah and criticizing her parenting (or lack thereof) at every turn. This is the two of them fighting from from last night's episode alone:

But Farrah is trapped in her parents' house. She sucks at her parents' teat while her baby sucks on hers. And that's exactly the problem—if she lives at her parents' house, she only has to do half the parenting... but she also has to put up with all of Debra's shit. What's a girl to do? Move out! So she goes on the most depressing house hunt of all time.


It took Farrah all of two seconds to realize that living with five other people in a party house with an infant isn't the best idea. So she stays with the 'rents. And we all know how that turns out. Yeesh.

Amber and Gary

While Farrah sucks at her parents' proverbial teat, Amber is still sucking on Gary's very real, very buxom, teats, and she can't stand it anymore. In order to get the hell outta dodge, she's gonna need a J-O-B. The first step in landing this coveted job is with a really awkward interview. Amber interviews for a receptionist position at a nail salon with her baby there the whole time. And if there is one thing that could kill an interview, it's a baby screaming over you when you try to tell your potential employer that you're a self-starter.

Somehow Amber got the job. Thanks, MTV!

But this is just Amber's first step to freedom. She needs to move out, because as usual, she's fighting with Gary. Every week it's the same song-and-dance with these two that it's hard to pay attention to what they're fighting about. It seems to have degraded to the two of them fighting just for the sake of fighting. But this week Gary seemed a little more genuine. He was lonely, he needed company, he wants to be part of a (somewhat) functional family. Amber only has two responses to anything Gary says: yelling or crying. This time, she cried, then yelled, as she is wont to do. She's tired of all the fighting, all the drama, all the dependence on a boyfriend who spends his days horizontal. She needs to spread those beautiful wings and fly to a $400 a month apartment that she'll pay for with her welfare check. Because there is no way in hell she is going to be able to support a baby, work 40 hours a week as a receptionist, pay rent, and put that baby in daycare. But she's gonna give it the ol' welfare try, and Gary might be left to be horizontal all by himself.

Maci and Ryan

Maci is failing school. Miserably. Her destructive monster of a baby is the reason. Ryan, her boyfriend, chips in less to help the baby than anyone on the show. It's possible that I pay more attention to that baby while watching the show than he does being on the show. He makes Farrah look like mother of the year. Anyway, Maci's only solution to juggle being a parent and going to school is daycare. By far the most loving mother on the show, Maci is hesitant to let her baby go. She's grown dependent on Bentley, and not having him around is going to be hard for her. Hopefully she'll remember the importance of letting go when she's squeezing that fat, juicy, Chattanooga State diploma in four years.

Catelynn and Tyler

So Catelynn and Tyler finally completed their adoption plan. And with their child in a new home with newly adopted parents, the two of them must make plans for themselves. Tyler, the walking contradiction, is the first to jump into action. Honestly, Tyler is a complete mystery to me. He wears terrible clothes that just scream "douchebag," but he opens his mouth, and he is the most gentle, thoughtful, caring man in the world. Yes, he's 17-years-old, but he acts like a man. The maturity he displays week after week is astonishing. If every woman in this world had a Tyler in their life, all relationship problems between men and women would be quashed. However, if every man in this world were like Tyler, we would probably get invaded by aliens because they would see our world as weak and fragile because we're all so loving, sensitive and caring.

So what does the most sensitive and timid guy go and do? He joins the friggin' Air Force. So while it give him direction, new problems arise. He will be away from Catelynn for a long time, and she can't live with him on the military base unless they're married. As if on cue, Tyler goes and looks for engagement rings, and it is so sweet and thoughtful it makes me want to throw-up.

Sadly, Teen Mom ends next week, and there isn't close to enough time to wrap-up the mess that is these girls' lives. But never fear! An all new season of 16 and Pregnant starts in February, giving us a whole new set of girls coping with problems that are way over their head.