Obama: Pissed Off, Bringing in Ringers, Dispatching the A-TeamS

Armed with the knowledge that it might take the '94 Dream Team to get legislation past the senate after Scott "Big Daddy" Brown's victory, President Obama's bringing his political ringers in. Also: raging at the (Supreme Court) machine.

See, Obama is pissed at the Supreme Court after yesterday's ruling, when they decided against barring corporations from donating to campaigns in their final weeks of their election. So he basically told the court to go fuck itself for fucking us.

This ruling opens the floodgates for an unlimited amount of special interest money into our democracy. It gives the special interest lobbyists new leverage to spend millions on advertising to persuade elected officials to vote their way – or to punish those who don't. That means that any public servant who has the courage to stand up to the special interests and stand up for the American people can find himself or herself under assault come election time. Even foreign corporations may now get into the act.

By "act," he alludes to sex. And by "sex" he alludes to the Supreme Court moving aside while corporate entities use their constitutional right to take their big dick money and slap around an election with it. Because money wins elections. And corporations have money. Which means corporations win elections. Unless they assemble a bad ass crew, maybe.

According to the New York Times,Obama's bringing back (among others) campaign manager David Plouffe to school suckas and ensure that the Democrats don't lose any more seats in the upcoming Fall elections. Also, he's dispatching his A-Team across the country to advise on hotly contested battles.

Obama: Pissed Off, Bringing in Ringers, Dispatching the A-Team

He brought Big D in earlier this week to chat:

The president summoned Mr. Plouffe to the Oval Office hours before the polls closed in Massachusetts and asked him to assume the new role because of the implications the midterm elections hold. Mr. Plouffe built a reputation in 2008 as a master of the nuts and bolts of campaigns, and will assemble a team to provide unfiltered political information that serves as an early-warning system so the White House and party officials know if a candidate is falling behind.

Obama: Pissed Off, Bringing in Ringers, Dispatching the A-Team

Assemble a team. Like The Avengers! BADASS. Also out for blood and numbers will be White House deputy chief of staff Jim Messina, who's gonna run things under Plouffe, and the grizzled Ron-Silver-as-Bruno-Gianelli-esque poll mastermind Joel Benenson (pictured). Their Voltron capabilities have yet to be fully disclosed, but one thing's certain: these guys know how to raise a buck, which is obviously what Obama's now gonna need if he wants a fighting chance of getting anything done over the next two years, let alone getting reelected.