Richard thinks I hate all of you. He's a LIAR. So I made my own meaningless superlative you can win: The C.O.C.K. Award! Anyway, we came up with tags for Brangelina's maybe breakup. Some were good. But one was superamazing.

These were all REALLY GOOD:

Understater's "Gone in 60 Months."
Uncle Vanya and Hilderschmee's "Burn After Breeding" and "Burn After Breeding."
Matt Cherette's "Flight Club."
Lobstr's "A River Runs The Fuck Away" and also, "Rejennge." Heh.

Unfortunately, there can be only one C.O.C.K. coming to the commenterat per day, because there's just not enough to go around. My budget isn't big enough. So, the second C.O.C.K. ever goes to....

The Assassination of Angelina Jolie By the Coward Jennifer Aniston

Angelina Jolie: Womb Raider


Gone in Sixty Months

Troy-less and Depressida

That's how it's done! For tags, they're not great, but I'd buy the one-sheet. Who's the lucky commenter? O HAI RICHARD LAWSON. That's why he's paid, motherfuckers. Maybe I really do hate you.

[Note: The Comment Of the Creative Kind award is at the sole discretion of the Weekend Editor: He will post two a weekend, every weekend, whenever he wants, based on whatever criterion he wants. Maybe more. Maybe less! If you don't like it, you can eat shit and die, or at the very least, write a better comment. If you want to win some C.O.C.K.s, you'd best do to not be these overly sincere maxiezoomdweebies who show up and say stupid things, or correct me on what they think is proper grammar, or who bitch about what I cover. Also, agree with everything I say and kiss my ass. That helps. OH. Also: be funny, charming, smart, beautiful, and perfect.]

Okay, actually, it was Uncle Vanya and Hilderschmee's #BurnAfterBreeding but two people came up with it so they canceled each other out. But here, it's now a tag. And if they do end up separating, yes, I will use it. Nice work. Now SCRAM.