Dear Helicopter Parents, Your Gifted Children May Actually Be DumbS

What fresh hell is the fact that this sentence—in New York's cover story about kindergarten meritocracy—is necessary: "The fact is, 4 is far too young an age to reach any conclusions about the prospects of a child's mind."

In this article, we learn how New York children's educational fates are sealed halfway through preschool. Here's another sentence that is great out of context:

"A young brain is a moving target," she replies.

Though the above lady is talking about the deficits of toddler IQ tests, a metaphor involving air guns and weeping children could also work here. Kid brains = lotto tickets for the rich.

Note: The above photographed child is not dumb. As a Scripps National Spelling Bee participant, he is a kinderocratic fantasy. [NewYork]