It appears that someone wants to turn Anna Wintour's fake charity Fashion's Night Out into a reality show. The only way a whole evening of shopping is going to be exciting is if there are some challenges. Some ideas!
It appears that Vogue and the Council of Fashion Designers of America are shopping an idea for a reality show about the night, which will be held September 10 this year, where retailers throw glamorous parties hoping to lure shoppers into their wicked web of luxury goods. Apparently they're talking to CBS and Bravo would be interested, considering they'll air anything that has a whiff of gay and sparkly to it. (Update: A rep from Fashions Night Out emailed and said, "We are not talking to anyone regarding a reality show for Fashion's Night Out. We are speaking to CBS about FNO out as reported, but nothing is confirmed and it is not for a reality show.")
But this thing has the intrinsic drama of Paint Drying Extreme Challenge. It might be fun if it was a mini The September Issue and we could watch people fight with Anna Wintour, but she is way to image conscious to let the camera near any of the good parts of the planning. Fashion's Night Out is just a bunch of people going to stores and buying crap.
Like any good reality show, this thing is going to need some competitions if it's going to be worth watching. Here are our suggestions.
Paparazzi Flash Bulb Sprint: One lucky shopper, preferably wearing high heels is put in front of the row of photographers there to take pictures of Charlize Theron at the Prada boutique. Make them all flash their bulbs for 60 seconds. After staring into the lights, the shoppers then get to run a lap through the boutique keeping every article of clothing they can snatch, hopefully while falling a lot and bumping into things. Because she won't be able to see anything! Oh, what silly outfits she'll have when she's done!
Consumer Debt Rack Up Challenge: In the Meatpacking District, two women take their own credit cards and have only 30 minutes to go to five different stores including Diane Von Furstenberg, Scoop, Alexander McQueen, Catherine Malandrino, Ed Hardy, and Jeffrey purchasing as many items that she can't afford as possible. Whoever racks up the biggest tab gets her debts forgiven. The loser has to take home her purchases and work paying them off for the next twenty years.
PR Girl Velvet Rope Tug of War: At a very very exclusive party for fashion types only, two blond girls named Stephani with miniskirts and clip boards must keep a throng of people who aren't on the list from getting in using any means necessary. The first one to let one through gets fired and sent back to New Jersey to live forever. The winner gets to buy coffee for everyone in the office the next morning.
Saks Clown Car Derby Sponsored by Lady Gaga: To promote her new fragance, Monster Stink, Lady Gaga is giving a performance in the makeup section of Saks Fifth Avenue. However, only the first 50 people will be able to attend. Watch as young girls and gay men pack themselves into a very small area of the store for the entire day waiting for the performance to begin. Will everyone survive? Will there be a trampling? Who knows?!
Anna Wintour Fake Smile Scavenger Hunt: The person with the best picture of Anna's smile while glad-handing celebrities, designers, and politicians at each location of her borough-spanning victory lap will get a $1000 prize. [Ed note: We may be stealing this one, Brian.] However, Anna will keep the winner from getting a job anywhere in any industry in New York ever again. Congratulations, winner!