When I was 15, Parade Magazine had a column called "Fresh Voices" where they printed letters from obnoxious yenta opinionated about how they think shit could be better in their eyes. ..And so naturally I wrote to tell them my ridiculously naive thoughts on how if you are able to earn your own money you should be able to gamble with it at casinos.
And they fucking printed it.
As a younger person, I found Parade to be good bathroom reading if only for "Ask Marilyn" — the self-proclaimed smartest person on earth with an IQ of 9033 or some shit — but in my later years I became disillusioned by her extreme sexist snark that she would slip into an answer about some logic puzzle. And now that the Internets exist, I wonder why Fred Barnsworth of Omaha needed to write in to ask her how far away the sun is.
Aww. It's funny/sad because it's true.
i wear shapes, and i'm a grown man. someone pay me.
Heh. "Wear shapes." Funny.