The Week We Were Stuck in an Elevator with The InternetS

This week, everyone had awards fever, imaginary orphans were adopted, and famous scientist Jenny McCarthy was proved wrong about something.

There is a right way and a wrong way to convince people your cars won't kill them. Justin Timberlake pretended to be the King of Facebook and flipped everyone the bird. Scientologists are raking it in in Haiti. (And we had a first-hand account.) Now Anonymous is on the way to fight them or something. Hollywood tricked the hedge funds out of their imaginary money. Meredith Vieira was befuddled by guidos. Vanity Fair's New Hollywood girls have bright careers ahead of them, except for the ones who don't. We watched a talking point grow from an ACORN to an Oak Tree. We attempted to predict the Oscar nominations! (And then we examined the real ones.) We applied advanced mathematics to the question of whether you should watch Sliding Doors on basic cable. A pauper tricked a blog into thinking he was a prince. We made fun of the kids today. Ann Curry was stuck in an elevator with the internet for an hour. Meg Whitman's son has a wonderful job with his mom's campaign. Lloyd Blankfein's sons also have wonderful jobs at Goldman Sachs. Anna Wintour's weird pretend charity event will soon be weird pretend TV! Richard summarized Lost from memory. (Oh, man, WTF was up with Fake Locke?) Everyone will try to come back, but who will succeed? A guy did the worst thing in the world and put it on Facebook. We explained how to do The Daily Show. Vaccines still don't cause autism. Some kids from Vermont attempted to hack their way into Fashion Week. Brian wrote up a contract for straights and gays to get along. We want Snooki to never change. Doree explained the secret nicknames of the literary elite. Hamilton examined 5W's made-up celebuquotes. Anderson Cooper was briefly going to adopt a Haitian baby but then he didn't. An Iraq hero is maybe a fraud. Lady Gaga's private parts continued to divide the internet. Let's give The Enquirer a Pulitzer: it's what Joe woulda wanted. TV needs newer, better Gay Characters. Katie Couric looks great! We asked where Jersey Shore should go. Washington DC is going to be buried forever under snow tonight. David Paterson might be even more interesting and hilarious that we thought. We watched both nights of Jon Stewart on The O'Reilly Factor, but the real fun didn't come until Bill put the whole thing on the internet. And we watched TV! Like Big Love, Kell On Earth, RuPaul's Drag Race, American Idol (which is finally going to Hollywood!), The Real World, Project Runway, and Real Housewives of Orange County.